Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Who dance? Me?

Let me start this with an honest confession, I do not like to dance. For years, I’ve been trying to change this mindset but it seems that this is really me. I cannot love dancing. This may be due to the way I was mould during childhood. When I was five, my father passed away. My grandparents took the responsibility and raised me up to become who I am today. One important note about my grandparents is that they are very pious Muslim; so devoted that dance is forbidden! Perhaps, from that ideology, I grew up disliking dancing activity. I will avoid one whenever I can. Only in secondary school I started to open up myself from this confinement. However, it was a bit too late. I am too stiff to dance. I laugh at myself whenever I think of me dancing. Very soon, I grew tired of trying and turned back to square one. Then, I entered teacher training institute. Here, I was forced to learn ‘zapin’; a traditional Malay dance. At first, it was a very unpleasant experience. I am stiff and I do not remember the steps. However, with peers’ moral support, I soon started to gain some confidence. I even perform zapin during Johor Independence Day celebration in Johor Bahru. I am very happy for realizing that I am no longer the ‘stiff man’ I used to be. However, I noticed that I did not found the happiness in dancing. I was dancing for the sake of pure responsibility and not enjoying myself while doing it. Well, that is the story of me and dancing. Perhaps, I was fated not to dance but only enjoy to see people dance especially the R&B genre.